The Leadership Presence Effect: How We Guide Those Around Us
In both our professional and personal lives, we often don't realize how much our demeanor affects others. Similar to a flight attendant during turbulence, our presence serves as a gauge for others during uncertain times. This concept, which we might call "The Leadership Presence Effect," is worth exploring for anyone who influences others.
When Uncertainty Triggers Our Response System
Flying creates significant anxiety for me. The idea of sending a massive metal object filled with people thousands of feet in the air seems to defy my emotional understanding. While I intellectually understand the science behind flight, my emotional brain often takes over, triggering that fight-flight-freeze response and temporarily shutting down my rational thinking.
During flights, my mind swings between imagining disasters and trying to calm myself down. Even while reading to distract myself, I fluctuate between moments of panic and deliberate breathing exercises. Then, inevitably, we hit some turbulence—maybe just a small bump—and my attention immediately goes to the flight attendant's face.
Looking to Others for Emotional Cues
Why do I look to the flight attendant? Their facial expressions become crucial signals that help me regulate my own emotions. Their experience allows them to understand whether the turbulence is normal. In that moment, they become my leader, and I unconsciously look to them to determine my next response—whether to worry or return to my book.
We All Play This Role Sometimes
You occupy this "flight attendant" role somewhere in your life. It might be at home with family, in your workplace with colleagues or team members, in religious settings, or community groups. Regardless of your formal title, there are times when others look to your verbal and non-verbal cues during stressful periods to determine how they should respond. They can't tell if your expression reflects something relevant to them or a personal concern—they naturally assume it connects to their situation.
Three Key Principles to Remember
As you think about when this might happen in your life, keep these three principles in mind:
When Information Is Missing, People Imagine the Worst
I look to the flight attendant because I lack the knowledge to understand what's happening. This information gap triggers me to complete the story in my mind. Unfortunately, our brains are wired to prepare for threats, so we tend to fill these gaps with worst-case scenarios. On a plane, this means imagining a catastrophic crash.Your Reactions Have Powerful Influence
When I find the flight attendant, I immediately assess their reaction to the turbulence. If they look concerned, I confirm my fears that we're in danger. If they appear calm, I can convince my threat-detection system that everything is fine and return to my book. There's little middle ground here. Remember that when you enter a room—whether at work, home, or a meeting—others are watching your expressions to determine whether they should worry or can proceed normally.People Can Handle Bad News, But Not Bad Information
I had a boss once tell me: "I can deal with bad news. I can't deal with bad information." This profound insight captures an essential leadership truth. This doesn't mean you must always present a positive front. Authentic communication about challenges remains essential, because information vacuums inevitably generate negative assumptions, creating more problems to solve later. When people lack clear information, they create their own narratives—usually far worse than reality. What matters is how you frame these challenges. When presented with a solution-focused approach and accurate information (even if it's difficult news), most people will readily engage in collaborative problem-solving.
The Responsibility of Conscious Leadership
Whether by choice or circumstance, you function as an emotional barometer for others who continuously monitor your expressions to assess their security. If their welfare is indeed secure, make sure your facial expressions, words, and actions convey this reality. This conscious approach to leadership significantly reduces the need for damage control and relationship repair work down the road.
Understanding how emotions spread and how others look to you for cues creates psychological safety—the foundation upon which productive relationships and effective organizations are built.
